Jon Watches Movies

I like movies so I decided to watch at least one movie a day.
The Lost Weekend (1945) Director: Billy Wilder Writers: Charles Brackett and Billy Wilder (Based on a novel by Charles R. Jackson)

The Lost Weekend (1945)

Director: Billy Wilder

Writers: Charles Brackett and Billy Wilder (Based on a novel by Charles R. Jackson)

The Paper (1994) Director: Ron Howard Writers: David Koepp & Stephen Koepp

The Paper (1994)

Director: Ron Howard

Writers: David Koepp & Stephen Koepp

Nursery University (2008) Directors: Marc H. Simon & Matthew Makar Writer: Marc H. Simon

Nursery University (2008)

Directors: Marc H. Simon & Matthew Makar

Writer: Marc H. Simon

Word Wars (2004) Directors: Eric Chaikin & Julian Petrillo What a bunch of nerds. Entertaining enough for a Netflix Instant watch. Not much different than Spellbound or other niche competition documentaries.

Word Wars (2004)

Directors: Eric Chaikin & Julian Petrillo

What a bunch of nerds. Entertaining enough for a Netflix Instant watch. Not much different than Spellbound or other niche competition documentaries.

The Dictator (2012) Director: Larry Charles Writers: Sacha Baron Cohen, Alex Berg, David Mandel, & Jeff Schaffer Some funny bits but for as many laughs as there are there are about equal amount of jokes that fall flat. I think Cohen is really great and just a naturally funny guy, no matter the material really, so this is pretty OK to me, just no where near Borat quality. I think after 4 movies it is time to hang up the offensive foreigner stuff.

The Dictator (2012)

Director: Larry Charles

Writers: Sacha Baron Cohen, Alex Berg, David Mandel, & Jeff Schaffer

Some funny bits but for as many laughs as there are there are about equal amount of jokes that fall flat. I think Cohen is really great and just a naturally funny guy, no matter the material really, so this is pretty OK to me, just no where near Borat quality. I think after 4 movies it is time to hang up the offensive foreigner stuff.

Alien (1979) Director: Ridley Scott Writers: Dan O’Bannon (Story by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett)

Alien (1979)

Director: Ridley Scott

Writers: Dan O’Bannon (Story by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett)

Pretty Woman (1990) Director: Garry Marshall Writer: J.F. Lawton 

Pretty Woman (1990)

Director: Garry Marshall

Writer: J.F. Lawton 

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (2000) Director: Jim Jarmusch Writer: Jim Jarmusch I try and try to get into Jarmusch but his movies just seem to be trying way to hard. This one features old mobster guys dancing and rapping while Whitaker plays an assassin who acts like a samurai and speaks English to an ice cream man who only speaks French but they understand each other. After he shoots someone he waves his gun around like it is a sword before he holsters it. Is that really part of the Samurai code or just some shit he saw in some movies. Wacky. What does it all mean? I don’t know. The RZA does the music. I like the Samurai concept of the movie and there are some really funny lines in it but I don’t know just seems a little too dopey in parts for me. Seems like something an annoying film student would make.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (2000)

Director: Jim Jarmusch

Writer: Jim Jarmusch

I try and try to get into Jarmusch but his movies just seem to be trying way to hard. This one features old mobster guys dancing and rapping while Whitaker plays an assassin who acts like a samurai and speaks English to an ice cream man who only speaks French but they understand each other. After he shoots someone he waves his gun around like it is a sword before he holsters it. Is that really part of the Samurai code or just some shit he saw in some movies. Wacky. What does it all mean? I don’t know. The RZA does the music. I like the Samurai concept of the movie and there are some really funny lines in it but I don’t know just seems a little too dopey in parts for me. Seems like something an annoying film student would make.

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Director: Nora Ephron Writers: Nora Ephron and David S. Ward and Jeff Arch (Story by Jeff Arch) It seems that all Romantic Comedies feature creepy weirdos when you really boil it down.  In this one Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) is marrying a perfectly nice aka BORING man in Baltimore named Walter (Bill Pullman).  There is nothing really wrong with him, he has money, he is polite, BUT he has allergies therefore he is a capitol S Square!  Allergies and sneezing in a movie is always a shortcut to weakness and no woman wants that bullshit!  Jason Statham or Ryan Gosling never let loose no goddamn sneeze in the presence of a lady! Meanwhile 3,000 miles away in the titular city of Seattle Sam Baldwin (Tommy Hanks) is burying his wife.  Cut to a year and a half later and one night his son, concerned about his Dad not getting any, is listening to some psychologist radio talk show for some reason and decides to call in with his Dads issues.  Sam picks up the phone and is annoyed and angry yet continues to lay his sob story out over the airwaves where apparently every woman in the country is listening and getting soaking wet.  Included in the listenership is Annie who upon hearing this sad story about a man being alone realizes that she doesn’t love her dopey fiancé and instead wants to be with this stranger 3,000 miles away.   I watch a lot of Lock Up on MSNBC and there are a lot of stories of women writing letters to inmates and falling in love and sometimes marrying them and this is what immediately leapt to mind while watching this.  Annie heard some sad lonely mans story and then wants to abandon her great life for a huge what if?  I guess that is supposed to be what is romantic about this, the grand gesture, but I just couldn’t help but think how creepy and weird the whole thing is.   I watched this with Maura and proposed that this would not work if the scenarios were reversed.  If a woman had a sad story and a guy heard it and flew 3,000 miles to be with her she would slam the door in his face for fear of being raped or murdered.  But since it is 90s cutie patooty showing up at a mans doorstep he just rolls with it.  I mean she spent all that money on a plane ticket that must mean she’s “down” right? I have been really obsessed with the idea of making sequels to a lot of movies like this where people who don’t really know each other jump through 100 hoops to be together and the movie ends with them getting together without really knowing each other at all.  I want to see these people 20 years later when the excitement of their meeting has worn off and they realize they are just normal people.  Stop messing around with $300 million sequels to Men in Black, I want to see a Sleepless in Seattle 2 where this time it’s Meg Ryan who is Sleepless as she wonders what she did with her life.  Or even just show them on like their third date and they realize oh this really isn’t meant for us.  What were they expecting?  For him to just talk about his dead wife forever?  Because that is literally all she knows about him when she is ready to leave her fiancé.   I think I just watched this with too cynical of a mind but has anyone really met someone even remotely in this way?  I know its a movie and I shouldn’t think about it but it just made me think geez Annie is a really unstable person.  Like she was about to fucking marry a guy and just heard two minutes of someone on the radio and she’s ready to bail on her whole life and be with some stranger 3,000 miles away.  Is there anyone who thinks that doesn’t sound insane?

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Director: Nora Ephron

Writers: Nora Ephron and David S. Ward and Jeff Arch (Story by Jeff Arch)

It seems that all Romantic Comedies feature creepy weirdos when you really boil it down.  In this one Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) is marrying a perfectly nice aka BORING man in Baltimore named Walter (Bill Pullman).  There is nothing really wrong with him, he has money, he is polite, BUT he has allergies therefore he is a capitol S Square!  Allergies and sneezing in a movie is always a shortcut to weakness and no woman wants that bullshit!  Jason Statham or Ryan Gosling never let loose no goddamn sneeze in the presence of a lady!

Meanwhile 3,000 miles away in the titular city of Seattle Sam Baldwin (Tommy Hanks) is burying his wife.  Cut to a year and a half later and one night his son, concerned about his Dad not getting any, is listening to some psychologist radio talk show for some reason and decides to call in with his Dads issues.  Sam picks up the phone and is annoyed and angry yet continues to lay his sob story out over the airwaves where apparently every woman in the country is listening and getting soaking wet.  Included in the listenership is Annie who upon hearing this sad story about a man being alone realizes that she doesn’t love her dopey fiancé and instead wants to be with this stranger 3,000 miles away.  

I watch a lot of Lock Up on MSNBC and there are a lot of stories of women writing letters to inmates and falling in love and sometimes marrying them and this is what immediately leapt to mind while watching this.  Annie heard some sad lonely mans story and then wants to abandon her great life for a huge what if?  I guess that is supposed to be what is romantic about this, the grand gesture, but I just couldn’t help but think how creepy and weird the whole thing is.  

I watched this with Maura and proposed that this would not work if the scenarios were reversed.  If a woman had a sad story and a guy heard it and flew 3,000 miles to be with her she would slam the door in his face for fear of being raped or murdered.  But since it is 90s cutie patooty showing up at a mans doorstep he just rolls with it.  I mean she spent all that money on a plane ticket that must mean she’s “down” right?

I have been really obsessed with the idea of making sequels to a lot of movies like this where people who don’t really know each other jump through 100 hoops to be together and the movie ends with them getting together without really knowing each other at all.  I want to see these people 20 years later when the excitement of their meeting has worn off and they realize they are just normal people.  Stop messing around with $300 million sequels to Men in Black, I want to see a Sleepless in Seattle 2 where this time it’s Meg Ryan who is Sleepless as she wonders what she did with her life.  Or even just show them on like their third date and they realize oh this really isn’t meant for us.  What were they expecting?  For him to just talk about his dead wife forever?  Because that is literally all she knows about him when she is ready to leave her fiancé.  

I think I just watched this with too cynical of a mind but has anyone really met someone even remotely in this way?  I know its a movie and I shouldn’t think about it but it just made me think geez Annie is a really unstable person.  Like she was about to fucking marry a guy and just heard two minutes of someone on the radio and she’s ready to bail on her whole life and be with some stranger 3,000 miles away.  Is there anyone who thinks that doesn’t sound insane?